Wanting More

I want the one I can't have and it's driving me mad!

-The Smiths, "I Want the One I Can't Have"

You'll realize one day
That the grass is always greener on the other side
The neighbors got a new car that you wanna drive
And when time is running out you wanna stay alive

-Travis, "Side"

Now you get what you want,
Do you want more? (want more)
Now you get what you want,
Do you want more? (want more)

-Bob Marley, "Want More"


Why do we want what we don't have? I know that the "grass is greener" is part of the human condition, but it occurred to me today how much energy and time we spend in that perspective without awareness. This morning, as I was pulling on my yoga pants (gorgeous lululemon groove pants! I found myself sighing and missing getting dressed up for work. WHA? A year and a half ago I was dying to get the heck out of "business casual." It just got me thinking about how much of our lives are spent wishing to be somewhere else, single when we are coupled, coupled when we are single, unemployed and free when we hate our jobs, gainfully employed when we are laid off, eating when we are dieting, thin when we gain weight, in school when we are working, done with school so we can get a job.

Some of what comes out of this perspective is resonant action--changing careers, moving to a new place, starting to exercise. But what are we losing by not reveling in where we are right now? What do we gain in those moments, for many of us fleeting and infrequent, of "life feels perfect RIGHT NOW?" Those times when we are breathing in what is surrounding us, whether it is our loved ones, or the beach, or something that we love to do so much that time gets away from us. Those moments of ecstasy, of peak experience and utter contentment?

As a society, we SO value going, going, going. Getting more, shedding the old, in with the new. We crave variety, change, the next thing coming up. Then we sleep through the present that we once longed for and train our attention on the past and the future. We see living in the moment as silly and indulgent, lazy and self-absorbed and complacent. What would we gain from even 10 minutes each day of being fully present?

Try it. I will try with you. Let me know how it goes.