Dark Days

Despite gorgeous weather and much to be grateful for, I have had a few bluer-than-blue days.

Being with the sadness, the hurt, the disappointments, the fear, the anger, the confusion, and not running away, hiding, avoiding, is not easy. At points in my life, I would do ANYTHING to avoid pain. As a teenager, I would cut myself or skip school. As a young adult, I would drink, smoke, overeat and worse. As a not-so-young adult, I avoid people, spend too much time on the internet, turn into a couch slug, do things to make myself feel better like exercise or yoga. Anything to dull the pain, numb the feelings, avoid the bad and the bleh.

When I let myself feel the pain, be with it, run toward it instead of away from it, truly experience it, it begins to loosen its grip a bit. It does pass; it does not sweep me away in a raging current as I fear it might.

When life is hard and hurts, STAY. Stay in the pain and let it wash over you and know that you will not die from sadness or rage or confusion. Know that by being with it, you will find peace. Namaste.