Heart Body Mind: Aligned

Sublime U

2012-01-30T11:12:00.000-05:00

I am hard at work on my new website and vision, Sublime U.

I have always loved the word "sublime." It means "Of such excellence, grandeur, or beauty as to inspire great admiration or awe."

Transcend the mundane. Be sublime.

Bigger Game Boston: Join us on November 11th and 12th

2011-10-10T19:18:00.003-04:00

All about the Bigger Game

Rick Tamlyn, my mentor, incredible leader, and wildly inspiring human, is co-leading the Bigger Game 2 Day Experience with me in Boston on November 11 and 12. Don't miss it. I guarantee your life will change for the better because of this simple yet profound model and the two days of learning, fun, and connection you will experience.

Sign up here:

http://www.ricktamlyn.com/register-boston-nov2011.html

We'll see you there!

Air Dragon R5

2011-10-02T18:45:00.000-04:00

I was so pleased with how designing and leading the Air Dragon's Retreat 5 went for me and for all of us. Here's a review from one of the attendees!

Air Dragon R5

September, bursting at the seams

2011-09-02T18:20:00.001-04:00

I am in awe of how full things both awesome and scary my September has become.

I am leading numerous trainings, including a coaching training for social workers! Yes!

I am designing and leading a two-day reunion retreat for 11 members of the CTI Leadership Air Dragon tribe! Wheeee!

At 8am the day following that experience, I will fly to Asheville, NC for a week to begin 10 months (4 week-long retreats) of assisting CTI Leadership, led by MY former leaders, the incredible Rick Tamlyn and L.A. Reding. I am overwhelmed with gratitude that I get to have this profoundly life-shifting experience again, this time from 'behind the scenes' and behind a camera.

My life changed forever when I went through the Leadership process in 2009 with my beloved Bee tribe, led by Rick and L.A. I did things that I never dreamed possible and realized who I really am and who I am becoming. I know that everything will change again after being immersed in the training and learning of this new group.

For the first few months of my 2011, the fear about the uncertainty of all areas of my life left me a bit paralyzed. It has been a long time since I let fear rule me so totally as I did in this dark spring. For the last couple of months, I have realized that, like Ravi Singh says, "Fear is just excitement without the breath!"

I am breathing again, and excited for the adventure that is my life. Ravi S also says, "We cling to the known, when it is the unknown we should go towards. That is where growth lies, that is where our true happiness lies."

September is full of growth and unknown. Bring it on!

I Love Summer

2011-06-21T19:46:00.005-04:00

Lounging in the backyard
listening to birds chattering
bare feet curled in the grass
honeysuckle smell
surrounded by lush green leaves blowing
occasional mosquitos
loving the stillness
loving the light lingering
into the evening of this the longest day of the year
children whooping four houses down
trellis of vines gently swaying in fragrant breezes
heart gently thrumming
I am alive.

Just stop

2011-06-17T13:01:00.001-04:00

I attended a retreat a couple of weeks ago called "Come Home to Your Heart."

The greatest takeaway for me was a simple method for calming the mind when it is engaged in its inevitable mind chatter, ruminating about the past and worrying about the future.

This comes from Gangaji: STOP. Tell the Truth. Be Still. This comes from me: lather, rinse, repeat and repeat and repeat.

It sounds so simple, and it is, and it isn't. Give it a shot. My mind has been running wild lately with worries about money and the future and the unknown and the past and the "woulda coulda shoulda." Enough to make anyone feel blunted, blue, anxious, edgy.

I started STOP (sometimes "yelling" it at myself in my head). Deep breath, Tell the Truth (usually looks like: "I'm scared." "I'm sad" "I'm tired" "I'm lonely"). Be Still: breathe, be with the truth. Be you, now.

It's helping.

Moving into moving

2011-04-19T10:24:00.001-04:00

One of the most challenging parts of my divorce is leaving my home.

I love the South End. I love my condo perched on the edge of the neighborhood. Despite being on Mass Ave, with its cacophony of sirens and car horns and drunk people yelling after midnight, its tumbleweeds of litter and spirals of exhaust, our condo was a source of peace and joy: spacious for the city, with a large deck and an abundance of windows and light. I never got over the thrill of living in the South End, land of brownstones, bakeries, and all-around urban beauty.

I moved last Friday to live with a friend for a time in Medford, near the campus of Tufts. It couldn't be more different: suburban, silent, a lovely freestanding home with a basement and a backyard. I put my "stuff" in storage and moved in with only my clothes, and without one thing that most people who live in Medford consider a necessity: a car. Spoiled by the easy walk-ability and the constancy of my neighborhood's trains and buses, I will now be cultivating patience and impeccability with regards to time, with buses that run only thrice hourly during rush hour, less frequently otherwise. I bought a backpack; I am considering taking Bicycling for Dummies lessons.

Signs of spring are beginning to appear and the backyard will soon be awash in color, fresh leaves, and birds. This quiet and gentle place, this new beginning, will help me get clear on what I will create in the next phase of my life.

My Evolution, Your Evolution, You Revolution

2011-03-08T09:48:00.002-05:00

My life is evolving. A few things that have happened since I last posted:

I am getting divorced. I just sold my house. I am evolving my business to better reflect who I am and where I am going and what I am called to do in the world. I am growing and loving and dipping and twisting and dancing with my life. I am knee-deep in the mystery of "What's Next?" Luckily, so are many of my clients! So are we all. As much as we try to avoid change, it is ever-present. We are always evolving, like it or not; the question is "Are we evolving consciously or unconsciously?"

Take my hand. Hold your nose if you have to, but dive into the mystery with me.

Beauty

2010-08-24T11:54:00.000-04:00

A dear friend told me to read the book Eternal Echoes by John O' Donohue about a year ago. The gift he gave me was immeasurable. Reading John O' Donohue's work feels like a sacred ritual-each paragraph to be savored, fully presenced, pondered, re-read and re-experienced. I immediately purchased Anam Cara and experienced the same stillness, peace, and wonder.

I burst into tears when I googled to find out more about this gentle Irishman and found out that he died suddenly in 2007. It felt unbearable that there would be no more books, no more words from him, and that he no longer walked the Earth. I held off buying and reading his book Beauty: The Invisible Embrace for as long as I could, wanting to pick it up when my heart was yearning for the tender voice I knew I would encounter between its covers.

I have spent the last two days reading the first two pages, sighing with delight.

I love you, John O' Donohue, soul friend.

"May you experience each day as a sacred gift woven around the heart of wonder"--John O' Donohue.

Helllloooooo?

2010-07-19T14:58:00.000-04:00

Yes, it's been awhile! Life has been seriously juicy-delicious-busy. I will update little by little--so much has happened!

More about Dare to Be Free....

2010-03-01T09:27:00.000-05:00

So, I am utterly thrilled to be co-leading Dare to Be Free April 10th and 11th with Art Shirk. Art is a masterful Co-Active leader, a powerful and engaging presence, and has a gigantic heart and a sense of humor to match. I know that Co-Leading with him will feed my soul. It will be his first time leading this workshop and the first time that he and I have co-lead together!

Dare to Be Free is such powerful work. We all have a place where we are stuck, where we sabotage ourselves, where we believe we are not enough to get what we want from life. All that is pretty joyfully blown out of the water by day two of this workshop! What a relief to pull up a taproot belief that has held us back and plant something new and beautiful in its place.

Dare to Be Free Boston April 10 and 11!

2010-02-16T20:16:00.000-05:00

2010 Intentions

2010-01-01T10:10:00.016-05:00

In 2010, I intend to:

Create circles of belonging that grow people

Cultivate wide-eyed wonder, curiosity and intuition

Play and laugh

Love myself and others fiercely

Travel, work and learn and grow like never before

Spend lots of time in the stillness of nature

Practice yoga/meditation and dance and sing daily!

Eat fresh, local, organic food that supports my body

Let go of old concepts that no longer serve me

Believe in myself and in the miraculous unfolding of the universe

What are your intentions?

Happy Winter Solstice!

2009-12-21T18:40:00.001-05:00

"I heard a bird sing
In the dark of December
A magical thing
And sweet to remember.
'We are nearer to Spring
Than we were in September,'
I heard a bird sing
In the dark of December."
- Oliver Herford, I Heard a Bird Sing

Pearls For Girls

2009-11-19T11:32:00.003-05:00

One of my incredible Leadership tribemates, Mary Murphy, is the visionary founder of an organization that raises money for girls with HIV in Lesotho while cultivating community, fun, and leadership in girls and women in her area. It is a simple premise and its success has been staggering. Get your holiday gifts and read about the amazing story of Pearls for Girls here

I am hosting a Pearl Bee for some friends in early December and I am so looking forward to it. Fun+an amazing cause=my idea of a perfect night.

Question of the Day

2009-11-18T18:05:00.002-05:00

You wake up and realize that you have been in a deep sleep for 10 years. When you begin to interact with the outside world again, you realize the world has changed; it is exactly how you always wished it could be!

What is different? What is the same? What are people like? What is society like? What does this bring up for you?

Another gorgeous day

2009-11-17T13:06:00.002-05:00

I am posting this to remind myself in a few months when I am bemoaning my Boston winter that it is mid-November, sunny, and gorgeous and I don't even need a real coat today!

I have had a few really inspired and productive days and am excited to roll out some new projects and offerings in the coming weeks. Stay tuned!

Soft Rain

2009-11-14T08:37:00.010-05:00

I am sitting on my couch and gazing out my window and sipping my coffee this rainy Saturday morning in Boston. The rain is steady but gentle, misty, whipped and swirled by the wind before coming into contact with buildings, windows, concrete, cars, the occasional human scurrying down the sidewalk, shoulders hunched, head covered.

The phrase "soft rain" entered my mind a few minutes ago and I googled for shits and giggles and got this from Wikipedia:

There Will Come Soft Rains is a 12-line poem by Sara Teasdale written in 1920. The subject of the poem imagines nature reclaiming the earth after humanity has been wiped out by a war (line 7). The voice of the poem speaks definitely, the way in which the poet imagines how little the human race will be missed is an absolute certainty and not just a possibility. The poem reads:

There will come soft rains and the smell of the ground,
And swallows circling with their shimmering sound;

And frogs in the pool singing at night,
And wild plum trees in tremulous white;

Robins will wear their feathery fire,
Whistling their whims on a low fence-wire;

And not one will know of the war, not one
Will care at last when it is done.

Not one would mind, neither bird nor tree,
If mankind perished utterly;

And Spring herself when she woke at dawn
Would scarcely know that we were gone.

Wow! First of all, props to Sara for being green and eco-friendly and sounding an alarm a good 70 years before it became a multi-bazillion-dollar industry/movement.

This poem has stirred up my mind this morning, creating a thought train that has traveled from the futility and overblown self-importance of the current human way of life, to my growing desire to be meditating in a fragrant field somewhere smiling at the birds rather than at a computer on the 3rd floor of a brownstone in a city, to existential questions about humanity and meaning.

How wonderful to be thought-provoked in that way and how ridiculously ego-mind-human-doing-not-being all at the same time! Off to quiet my mind and be with what is for awhile!

Loving What Is

2009-11-12T08:29:00.002-05:00

I have had Loving What Is by Byron Katie sitting in my "to-read" pile forever. I plucked it out a couple of days ago and am very glad I did.

The Work, as Katie calls it, centers around asking yourself four questions and then creating a "turnaround."

The four questions are as follows:

1. Is it true?
2. Can you absolutely know that it's true?
3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
4. Who would you be without the thought?

The "turnaround" is turning the thought on its head; so if the belief is "Helga doesn't like me," you examine the truth in "I don't like Helga" or "Helga does like me."

It sounds very simple, but I have found it quite eye-opening, especially in thinking about a couple of relationships where I felt I was "right" and the other person "wrong." Check it out!

Veteran's Day

2009-11-11T10:40:00.003-05:00

Thanks to all the women and men, including many in my family, who have served our country.

May we all unite to create a more peaceful world.

There Is a Light That Never Goes Out

2009-11-10T10:08:00.006-05:00

As soon as I let myself feel my feelings fully (see yesterday's post), they softened, shifted, and dissipated. Ah, the power of being fully present with WHAT IS.

Eckhart Tolle says "As long as you are unable to access the power of the Now, every emotional pain that you experience leaves behind a residue of pain that lives on in you." I say, when you are able to truly BE WITH what you are feeling rather than avoid it, the pain moves through cleanly, leaving no trace behind.

Today feels lighter. I have my bright-yellow Chuck Taylors on for inspiration and a bunch of checks on my giant to-do list already. Peace out.

Dark Days

2009-11-09T17:19:00.005-05:00

Despite gorgeous weather and much to be grateful for, I have had a few bluer-than-blue days.

Being with the sadness, the hurt, the disappointments, the fear, the anger, the confusion, and not running away, hiding, avoiding, is not easy. At points in my life, I would do ANYTHING to avoid pain. As a teenager, I would cut myself or skip school. As a young adult, I would drink, smoke, overeat and worse. As a not-so-young adult, I avoid people, spend too much time on the internet, turn into a couch slug, do things to make myself feel better like exercise or yoga. Anything to dull the pain, numb the feelings, avoid the bad and the bleh.

When I let myself feel the pain, be with it, run toward it instead of away from it, truly experience it, it begins to loosen its grip a bit. It does pass; it does not sweep me away in a raging current as I fear it might.

When life is hard and hurts, STAY. Stay in the pain and let it wash over you and know that you will not die from sadness or rage or confusion. Know that by being with it, you will find peace. Namaste.

Saying "Yes" and Saying "No"

2009-11-02T08:56:00.004-05:00

Every time you say "yes" to something in your life, you are also saying "no" to something else, and vice versa. Consciously choosing your "yesses" and "nos" is powerful!

Today, I say "yes" to Yoga as soon as I hit "submit", to working on my Leadership Quest through the perspective of "Success is Inevitable" and to scheduling workshops for January and February.

I say a big ol' resounding NO! to saying "I'll do it later" to yoga, to working on my Leadership Quest through the perspective of "This is too scary and too hard" and to putting off scheduling my next engagements.

Oh man, I needed this!

2009-10-29T08:20:00.005-04:00

What this review points me to in this time of feeling like my whole life is a big ol' question mark? The clarity I have about the fact that I was born to help people uncover and love their authentic selves AND to create deep intimacy and connection between people.

Check this out. Thanks, Matthew P! xo

Inspiring Review of Dare to Be Free by an awesome writer

Here is an excerpt:

Dare To Be Free. That was the name of the workshop I attended in Boston this weekend and to say it was transformational is an understatement. The idea was to identify, declare, then bury your core limiting belief, that is, the one lie you believe about yourself that keeps you from freedom, happiness and being in love with your life. You then create a new belief based on what is true. There is no way this description can give you any sense of just how cathartic and intense and liberating this is. You really just have to experience it. But I'll say that 9 people who for the most part didn't know each other before Saturday, are now inexorably significant and accountable to each other...

Special Offer!

2009-10-28T19:48:00.001-04:00

Stay happy, centered, and sane through the Holidays and make your New Year's Resolutions stick this year. Sign up for three months of phone or in-person (in Boston) coaching by November 7th and get your two-hour Discovery session FREE!

2009-10-28T17:12:00.004-04:00

It's pouring rain today, and my eye continues to water. I have had viral conjunctivitis for about 8 weeks now. Unfortunately, like the common cold virus (which may have actually caused this issue), there is not a lot I can do besides wait it out. I look like I am constantly weeping, and should probably just walk around with a tissue affixed to my eyeball.

My life feels a little watery right now; formless, sometimes rapid-churning like a rushing river, sometimes still and a little stagnant like a pond, with all of the activity and changes happening below the surface. I am between R3 and R4 of Leadership and it has really stirred up a lot in me. I am feeling the need to shift gears a bit with work; I am rethinking my love for urban living, and my husband and I are working through some issues. Basically, I am questioning everything in my life and while I don't see any major changes ahead, most areas are due some tweaks.

The other day I actually said, "OK! ENOUGH PERSONAL GROWTH!" when something went wrong and I gritted my teeth and smiled and told myself that I was learning from it. While I know that IS actually true, it feels exhausting right now to grow and grow and feel like I am busting at the seams and outgrowing my old self like a pair of jeans. Exhausting, but inevitable. I know that this watery place is critical and that I need to stay with it and that things will become clear.

This quote really spoke to me:

If water is too clear, it will not contain fish; people who are too cautious will never gain wisdom.
Chinese proverb

Dare to Be Free was yummy

2009-10-27T09:06:00.002-04:00

Dare to Be Free was gorgeous. The participants showed up and played FULL out, and because of that fell madly in love with one another by mid-day of Day One! The depth and trust and love that flowed in that room between "strangers" shows how easily connection happens when we let go of fear and just be ourselves, without apology.

We expend so much energy wearing masks that shield our hearts. We let fear and doubt and old beliefs rule us. This is comfortable and this is safe and this is BULLSHIT. You CAN dare to be free of it. You can. You can!

Dare to Be Free Boston October 24 and 25

2009-10-14T12:10:00.002-04:00

Get your seat now! Only 10 more days!

Dare to Be Free Invitation

*Co-Led by Shannon Kelly, LICSW, CPCC and Gina Lincoln, CWC, CPCC*

Dare to Be Free was developed by L.A. Reding and Michelle Goss of Artful Leadership, and Henry Kimsey-House, founder of CTI.

Dare to Be Free is a fun, moving, and dynamic two-day experience focused on uncovering and releasing the limiting beliefs that are standing in the way of you living your best life NOW. This workshop is about connecting to and empowering your "Capital S" Self! You will learn and practice powerful tools to use with yourself and with others. You will experience greater clarity, peace of mind, and deep and lasting connection with other participants.

Whether you are seeking a new career in the current economy, dreaming of starting your own business, learning to take charge of your health, or dealing with money or relationship challenges, Dare to Be Free offers powerful and plentiful tools to get you back on track when life knocks you off course.

A portion of the proceeds of this workshop go to the Adopt-A-Leader fund. The Adopt-a-Leader program provides monetary assistance for leaders who long to make a difference in the world and who are pursuing the dream of Co-Active Leadership.

The workshop is 10a-6p on Saturday, October 24th, and 10a-4:30p Sunday, October 25th at the Sheraton Boston. $350

Contact Shannon Kelly for more details; 617-642-2371 or mshannonkelly@gmail.com

Here's what people are saying about Dare to Be Free:

"I'm blown away. Thank you so much. My life has been changed, and I know I will continue to evolve." -D. A. from MI.

"I felt very seen and loved in this experience. Thank you for creating a safe space to do important work." -J.W. from MA

"I've pushed past my comfort zone....so valuable." -M.R. from MA

"I am called forth. Old ball & chain unlocked through recognition & saying it out loud - I will make the earth move"- M.S from MA

"It was a new and exciting experience - thank you for giving me the tools to take home with me"- D.G. from MA

"Massive benefit - amazing. I feel in tune with myself. What i've been trying to do for years is now possible!"- S from NH

"Surprised the hell out of me how much i achieved - ridiculously productive" C.L. from GA

Fall Detox

2009-09-29T11:47:00.001-04:00

Well, I kept up the Kundalini and meditation, and haven't missed a day since I committed! Some of those days were 5 minutes, some were several hours. I feel incredibly alive and have felt many emotions arising in me, ranging from bliss to despair. It feels like a time of cleansing and purging of emotional baggage and physical pain/waste/toxins for me. I know that I will emerge with clearer focus and more fully ME as a result.

I have been really drawn to drinking Green Smoothies lately; pictured is today's concoction, sitting on my desk beside me: Kale, apple, pear, coconut water. Throw it all in a blender and yum yum! I am going to drink at least one a day for the month of October.

Off to do some work on Dare to Be Free. My next workshop is in Boston with Gina Lincoln on October 24th and 25th. I can't wait!

2009-08-20T13:16:00.002-04:00

I continued today with Ultimate Stretch and meditation. Yesterday, I could have happily done yoga and meditation all day--today, I wanted to jump out of my skin the whole time. My mind was racing with all of the things I have to do.

I was compassionate with myself about it which is the important thing. At one point Ravi said, "it's time to move on" as in to the next exercise, and I said, "NO!" and stuck my tongue out at the TV. I let myself be bratty.

2009-08-19T09:21:00.003-04:00

I have been coming along swimmingly with my "every day this week" challenge. Yesterday I did Yoga for Energy and Radiance, followed by 15 minutes of David Swenson. I meditated out on my deck-hot and gorgeous.

This morning I dragged myself out of bed-had a few glasses of wine last night and celebrated my anniversary with Matthew. We grilled veggies outside and Matthew took a cue from Julie and Julia (which we saw and loved the other night) and used lots of butter. Divine.

I did Yoga Beauty Body before coffee this morning. Victory!

Today, I have a lot of work to do on my Politics of Polarization event with my Leadership tribemate, Douglas. He is flying in tomorrow night so that we can practice; the event is a week from Friday. Today I will commit our story to the written word--I have told it so many times, but it needs to be written down.

We have an overflowing room of people for the event-it should be incredible. I am thrilled and nervous! More soon.

Every day this week!

2009-08-17T12:57:00.003-04:00

It is so easy to get out of routines in long, hot, lazy summer days! So, I am imposing a bit of longed-for structure on my week.

Every day this week, I will do yoga and meditation; not only that, but I will do it first thing in the morning. Two exceptions: I have early-morning clients tomorrow, so I will do it mid-morning. On Friday morning, I will have a houseguest staying over, so I will do yoga and meditation after my guest leaves.

Every day I will practice kundalini yoga. More and more, I find that this is MY practice-the yoga that brings me into union with myself, the universe, my inner knowing. I practice most often with Ravi and Ana DVDs. I will also practice some other form of hatha yoga, and meditate for a minimum of twenty minutes.

Today I did Yoga Bliss Hips followed by David Swenson's 30 Minute Practice in Short Forms. I did 20 minutes seated meditation and walking meditation to and from the grocery store (one mile each way).

I also bought a ton of organic produce and will make light, healthy fare to eat all week. Enough with the pizza and beer!

WOW

2009-08-05T13:24:00.003-04:00

The summer is flying by. So much has happened, I truly don't even know where to start.

So I will start here, and work my way back, and work my way forward, and harness some of my wild and frisky and natural summer energy into writing more frequently.

I had an incredible workshop with Dare to Be Free in July, and will be doing another Dare to Be Free October 24th and 25th. It is deeply transformational, fun, and heart-opening work. Come and shed your self-limiting beliefs in Boston that weekend!

I am also doing a Leadership project, The Politics of Polarization: Creating Dialogue Between the Left and the Right in 21st-Century America, in just a little over two weeks, with my dear friend and polar opposite politically, Douglas Buxton. Dougie and I met in March and our friendship has changed me and how I "be" with people who are different from me (ie right wing conservative folks) in a profound way.

Dougie and I believe that a shift in communication between the right and the left in 21st-century America MUST happen. Our ways of being with the "other" are unsustainable and the two sides are at war. We want to create opportunities for true dialogue WITHOUT the need for agreement. Douglas and I will probably never agree on many things and in fact each find some of eachother's views repugnant. However, we are living proof that love and respect for the humanity of your polar opposite is where we must begin these important conversations and begin to heal the rift in our nation and the world.

More soon, promise! xo

New Headshot!

2009-06-07T18:28:00.001-04:00

Thanks, Stuart!!

Oh, baby!

2009-06-01T09:07:00.002-04:00

A change is a'coming.....YES!

Yippee!

2009-05-11T07:33:00.002-04:00

This is me jumping for joy because I am doing a workshop at lululemon Prudential Center on Sunday May 17th 6:30-8:30pm. It is free and it focuses on YOU and YOUR unique values. Come, come, come and have fun!

Peeps, Glorious Peeps

2009-04-12T22:26:00.000-04:00

Silly fun with peeps. Happy Easter!

My record is skipping

2009-04-07T10:27:00.001-04:00

I am a little stuck today around a few different issues. Any un-sticker suggestions welcome!

Leadership-Retreat 1

2009-03-30T09:39:00.002-04:00

So, it has taken me a week to write this post, and I still don't know quite where to begin.

There is SO MUCH and also so little I can actually reveal about the details of the experience, so I will just tell you some of my internal process.

I realized that I can hold my own among some of the most powerful, influential, brilliant human beings I have ever met.

I realized that I can be 100% myself, no holds barred, and that I will be loved.

I realized that courage is more compelling than perfection.

I realized that I have range.

I realized that the list of work that I long to do in the world is long and broad.

I realized that I can fall madly, wildly in love with a group, and experience the same longing for them that I would for a long-distance lover.

I realized that I can become so fully present that I can hear the wind whispering through the grass.

I realized that I have family all over the world.

I realized that I could kiss my enemy on the lips and love him like a brother.

I realized that I could fall, fall, fall, and be caught and lifted up in arms of love.

I realized that I am going to live the life of my dreams.

This is only the beginning. More, so much more to come.

To the Bees!

Spotters Ready?

2009-03-24T10:38:00.002-04:00

Ready. Falling. Fall on.

What is your body trying to tell you?

2009-03-11T09:22:00.002-04:00

I am sick. I rarely get sick. I consider myself a pretty hale and hardy gal. In fact (knocking wildly on wood), I don't remember the last time I had "just" a cold. It has probably been 5 years. I still don't have one of those, but a couple of days ago, my throat just started killing me, and I developed a dry, raspy, choking cough.

Yuck, right? So yesterday, my coach asked me, "what is your throat trying to tell you?" From this simple and powerful question came so much depth and resonance.

My request for you: slow down and listen to your body. What is it telling you? What does that runny nose, aching back, pounding head, itchy spot want you to know? There is deep wisdom there, if you breathe, close your eyes, and train your senses on the spots that are talking to you.

5 days until I go to Co-Active Leadership Retreat 1. Words can't adequately express my excitement and joy, felt so deep even through this illness.

Feels like Christmas

2009-03-07T08:04:00.004-05:00

This picture, me in Paris with 12 days left, is how I am feeling right now. I am bouncing off the walls and overjoyed. It is going to be 60 degrees and sunny today! We will set our clocks forward tonight and have more light, more bright, more blissful yummy sun each day. I leave for Leadership Retreat 1 in just over a week! I have so much more to write and say right now, but I am going to go outside and play.

Exciting things are afoot.....

2009-02-28T16:23:00.002-05:00

The grand and glorious Gina Lincoln and I are hard at work solidifying our business partnership! Stay tuned for more soon....

2009-02-20T11:35:00.003-05:00

Man does not live by bread alone. Every now and then, he needs a cookie.

--Groucho Marx

Enjoy your weekend!

Wanting More

2009-02-18T12:03:00.005-05:00

I want the one I can't have and it's driving me mad!

-The Smiths, "I Want the One I Can't Have"

You'll realize one day
That the grass is always greener on the other side
The neighbors got a new car that you wanna drive
And when time is running out you wanna stay alive

-Travis, "Side"

Now you get what you want,
Do you want more? (want more)
Now you get what you want,
Do you want more? (want more)

-Bob Marley, "Want More"

Why do we want what we don't have? I know that the "grass is greener" is part of the human condition, but it occurred to me today how much energy and time we spend in that perspective without awareness. This morning, as I was pulling on my yoga pants (gorgeous lululemon groove pants! I found myself sighing and missing getting dressed up for work. WHA? A year and a half ago I was dying to get the heck out of "business casual." It just got me thinking about how much of our lives are spent wishing to be somewhere else, single when we are coupled, coupled when we are single, unemployed and free when we hate our jobs, gainfully employed when we are laid off, eating when we are dieting, thin when we gain weight, in school when we are working, done with school so we can get a job.

Some of what comes out of this perspective is resonant action--changing careers, moving to a new place, starting to exercise. But what are we losing by not reveling in where we are right now? What do we gain in those moments, for many of us fleeting and infrequent, of "life feels perfect RIGHT NOW?" Those times when we are breathing in what is surrounding us, whether it is our loved ones, or the beach, or something that we love to do so much that time gets away from us. Those moments of ecstasy, of peak experience and utter contentment?

As a society, we SO value going, going, going. Getting more, shedding the old, in with the new. We crave variety, change, the next thing coming up. Then we sleep through the present that we once longed for and train our attention on the past and the future. We see living in the moment as silly and indulgent, lazy and self-absorbed and complacent. What would we gain from even 10 minutes each day of being fully present?

Try it. I will try with you. Let me know how it goes.

Happy Birthday, Mom

2009-02-15T09:17:00.002-05:00

You will never know how much your royal purple Patti-ness has inspired me. I strive every day to be a tenth as huge-hearted, as selfless, as full of optimism and good humor and laughter, as fun and smart and bright and shiny as you.

I love you, Mommy.

Here Comes the Sun

2009-02-11T09:24:00.007-05:00

I feel elated this morning. Yesterday I had a great, great coaching day. My clients leave me awestruck--they are wonderful and I love every luscious minute of coaching them. My sessions felt flowing and fun and full of possibility. I had my last supervision of Certification, and it really drove home for me how much I have learned.

My coach Mary and I had the most incredible session; Mary took me up the tube and into a perspective called "Above and Beyond." We celebrated how far I have come in one little tiny year! Last January I was just starting my Core Curriculum courses and yesterday I completed Certification! She was there for my first Fundamentals course and my last In The Bones and saw my evolution, so our "look back" was particularly poignant for me.

I completed with my Zither pod last night and am left with so much gratitude for each of my classmates and my CPL, Stephanie Lovinger. I learned to fail mightily and fall on my face in front of all of them and soak up so much learning at the same time. With them I shared so many triumphs and successes and laughter and tears, and I got some hellaciously good coaching from them along the way. We are all 100000 times the coaches we were when we started six months ago.

My oral exam is scheduled for April. I go to Leadership in less than six weeks. I have found my true calling; a whole new world opened up for me this year. The last ten years or so have been full of massive growth and change for me, but this past year? Personal growth on 'roids! I love and accept myself more now than ever before; I am learning to treat myself with kindness, gratitude, and humor. I know what my life's purpose is and am excited and thrilled to reach for it. I have let go of so much "yuck" and reached out and grabbed so much "yum!"

The sun is smiling down on me today. My heart is light. I am ready.

Superbowl? PUPPY BOWL!

2009-02-01T09:05:00.002-05:00

Superbowl, schmooperbowl. I'm watching the PUPPY BOWL!

2009-01-28T09:55:00.002-05:00

Things I am grateful for today:

1. Less than two months until I start Leadership! I can't wait and am practically counting the hours.

2. It is snowing like crazy but the rain later might wash it away.

3. Tart, tangy, juicy, wonderful grapefruit.

4. Yoga

5. My family get-together this summer, which I am organizing, seems to be coming together easily and effortlessly. Yeah!

6. Beautiful and inspiring feedback from people I coach. Thank you so much for your kind words-they make my heart jump for joy!

Come See Me at lululemon!

2009-01-18T17:41:00.001-05:00

Yippee! :)

An Encounter with your Best Self
January 25, 2009
Location: Prudential Store

An Encounter with your Best Self: A Guided Meditation for Inspired Goal Setting

January 25th, 7-8:30pm
Lead by Shannon Kelly

Shannon, LICSW is a CTI-Trained Coach who sees the magnificence and unlimited potential in each human being and is passionate about helping people envision, plan and lead the lives of their dreams. She works with individuals and groups who are seeking to explore and excel at living and working with integrity, joy, and purpose.

Shannon received her Master's Degree in Social Work from Boston University. She has extensive experience training and leading individuals, teams, and organizations. Shannon is an ACE-Certified Personal Trainer who loves to explore the wisdom and power inherent in the mind-body connection with her coaching clients.

Warmth is good

2009-01-16T08:46:00.004-05:00

I am so grateful today to have a warm bed, warm house, warm husband to snuggle up to, warm clothes to swaddle myself in. Coffee and tea and homemade soup, hot showers, polar fleece, my giant down coat (thanks, geese!).

It is -1 today with a high of 6. The kind of cold that makes your face hurt, makes your eyes weep, makes your joints creak.

I am so thankful to be inside, working from home today. I am so thankful I decided not to run the Boston Marathon this year, so I can work out inside to a video today! Ha! I am so grateful for my overwhelming good fortune, that I have so much love, so many material things, so many hot liquids, my own toasty, safe haven.

Sunday Morning

2009-01-11T08:42:00.002-05:00

The view from my window this morning. Third big snowfall of the year so far. I will walk a mile in the snow to get to work today at the gym! boohoo!

I struggle mightily with winter and with longing to be somewhere warm, somewhere sunny, somewhere ELSE. Knowing this, I spent a few minutes on my couch this morning with my coffee and fuzzy slippers watching and appreciating the snowflakes. How can each flake truly truly be totally unique? How can something so miniscule combine forces with others like it and together become so big and powerful that they can shut down a city?

Throughout my travels today, the bundling up and snow-booting, the slow and slippy walk to and from work, the windy, snotty, wetness of it all, I will practice shifting from my "THIS SUCKS" perspective to the curiousity and wonder I described above. I have no doubt that this shift in perspective will leave me lighter, softer, more peaceful. Like snow!

Even Coaches Need Coaches!

2009-01-09T17:20:00.011-05:00

I should have known my brilliant coach Mary Kuentz wouldn't let me get away with playing small with my goals for 2009. In our last session, we fleshed 'em out and beefed 'em up to make them bigger, juicier, scarier, and more resonant for me!

1. Pass my oral and written CTI Certification Test by March 1: We put action steps in place to make sure that this is going to happen. I only have one more thing to do until it is all done but the studying and practicing!

2. Begin CTI Leadership in March and participate fully, at a level 10!: Mary helped me really get to exactly what success for me will look like in this program, how I want to show up, and who I need to be to get the most out of it. I honestly can't WAIT!

3. Have my website up and gorgeous by April 1: Again, it is no longer nebulous; I have a plan, timeline, and steps firmly in place.

4. Do some sort of marketing every work day: I have an assignment to generate a list of possible ideas for this; any suggestions?

5. Host three workshops or seminars by year's end: Mary laughed at me when I told her this one and immediately challenged me to SIX well-paying gigs instead! I counteroffered with 3 paid, 3 unpaid and we "shook" on it!

6. Blog three times per week: We left this one alone.

Personal:

1. Achieve and maintain a 5% reduction in body fat: Since I know HOW to reach this goal, we focused on WHY it is important to me. It gave it so much more "oomph!" and so much less "ugh!"

2. Do yoga pranayama/asana every day We talked about the values that I would be honoring for myself by doing this.

3. Throw out 10 things a day: Again, by exploring my values, Mary helped me see this task as less of a mundane chore and more of a gift to myself.

What are the underlying values you are honoring in YOUR resolutions and goals? How can you lovingly push yourself harder, hold yourself bigger, get even more from 2009?

Goals for 2009

2009-01-03T10:39:00.004-05:00

Here they are, my SMART goals for 2009. In Co-Active Coaching, S=Specific, M=Measurable, A=Accountable, R=Resonant, T=THRILLING! These all fit the criteria. Here's to becoming the best me I can be in 2009!

For my business:

1. Pass my oral and written CTI Certification Test by March 1, 2009.
2. Begin CTI Leadership in March and participate fully, at a level 10!
3. Have my website up and gorgeous by April 1.
4. Do some sort of marketing every work day.
5. Host three workshops or seminars by year's end.
6. Blog three times per week.

Personal:

1. Achieve and maintain a 5% reduction in body fat.
2. Do yoga pranayama/asana every day.
3. Throw out 10 things a day.

How'd I do?

2009-01-01T16:47:00.004-05:00

Here were my New Year's Resolutions for last year, 2008 (it feels so strange to type that!):

1. Coach certification through CTI. I have six weeks left in Certification! I take my written exam the week of February 10th. I will schedule my oral exam this week (I am hoping to take it in March)! Hooray!

2. Personal Training Certification through ACE. DONE!

3. Getting a job as a PT, while simultaneously getting certified as a coach, building my website, marketing, etc. DONE! I work four days a week at Healthworks and coach one and a half days. Marketing and website need some work-these will show up in my 2009 goals.

4. Continuing to train for, and then running, the marathon in Barcelona on March 2nd. Done! Read my Marathon posts here.

5. Getting back into peak physical condition. Is my cardio endurance better than it has ever been? Absolutely. But I have been taking "carb-loading" entirely too far for the past few months and it is time to get back into striated-abs shape, with the ability to deadlift my bodyweight and bang out big-girl pushups with ease. I have definitely lost strength and flexibility in my quest for cardio endurance, and I feel and look better when those three fitness components are balanced.

Hmmm. I am definitely back in tough girl shape as far as the lifting goes. I am much more balanced in terms of my workout time. However, those pesky ten pounds are hanging on for dear life! I will definitely have some fitness goals in 2009!

All in all, a pretty good year! I am giving myself a total day of fun and rest today; I will post my 2009 goals by Saturday.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

BOO!

2008-11-02T09:17:00.003-05:00

Channeling my inner punk rock girl on Halloween!

Wheel of Life!

2008-09-06T12:04:00.003-04:00

Personal Wheel of Life

One of the most powerful Co-active Coaching tools is the Wheel of Life. Above I have linked to a fantastic new online version!

This is the tool I use with my clients for their free sample coaching session; don't forget that you can always email me at shannon@rhapsodycoaching.com to set up your free, no-obligation coaching session. Take a turn on the Wheel and let me know what you find out about your life.

Enjoy your weekend! How can you ensure that at least one section of your Wheel of Life is a 10 today?

September

2008-09-02T12:21:00.003-04:00

I tend to bemoan the passing of summer. I love the long, lazy, warm, sloooow days. In summer, I always (over) indulge my appetites-for blowing off responsibilities like cleaning and cooking, for downing cold beers, for dripping ice cream cones and brunches outside and too much sun and sleeping in.

Letting go of the softness and fun of summer for the fast pace and crispness of autumn is going to be different for me this year. My goal is to embrace the pace while still feeling a sense of peace and ease; to bring some of the playfulness and langour of the summer months into the frenzied To-Do list of September.

What's in store for you in September? Even if you're not starting school, even if you don't get to buy new notebooks, pens, and a cool lunchbox, how can September be a month of thrilling new beginnings and "first days" for you? How can you hold onto the best parts of YOUR summer self in the face of the changing season?

Summer, Summer

2008-08-29T10:52:00.003-04:00

Is there anything better than a perfect summer night with friends, bare feet, a beach, and a warm breeze?

What I eat

2008-08-23T09:23:00.009-04:00

Twice a week, I do my grocery shopping. Sometimes Whole Foods, sometimes the farmer's market in Copley Square, sometimes Lionette's, sometimes Foodie's, sometimes Plum Produce, sometimes Formaggio. Sometimes, since I am lucky enough to live in the South End, where most of these and more are within blocks of one another, I hit them all. I buy lots of veggies, fruits, whole grains, lean protein, and beans. I usually make three recipes, portion them into tupperware, throw a few into the freezer, the rest in the fridge. I eat 5 small meals a day so these are three of those. The other two are usually oatmeal/egg whites, and yogurt or cottage cheese and fruit.

The most critical part of grocery shopping is the prep afterward. I leave enough time to do all my chopping, cooking, and Tupperware-ing as soon as I get home.

Having cleaned, chopped raw veggies on hand at all times in my single best tip if you are interested in weight loss or maintenance. If I feel munchy or hungry at night, I always ask myself, "Am I hungry enough to eat veggies or do I just want to attack the peanut butter jar with my index finger?" If I am hungry enough to eat veggies, I eat. Usually the veggies, occasionally the peanut butter.

Of course, I have my grocery store vices as well. This was clearly a Foodie's run, as the delectable chemical cocktail that is Diet Coke with Lime is unavailable at the other stores. If you are solely focused on weight loss, DC and its ilk are ok in small doses. If you are also going for "healthy," I recommend limiting these to once per week or so.

Great workout today!

2008-08-19T22:23:00.005-04:00

Hoo baby! I had such a great workout today. I felt really solid throughout and am seeing some great definition in my quads with the strength training and clean eating I've been doing lately. I love working legs when I feel strong and energetic-such a rush!

Squats with wide legs; toes pointed out 95lb 4x8
Full Overhead Squats 24 lb Body Bar overhead 4x8
Walking Lunges 30 lb in each hand 4x8
Leg Extension 70 lb 4x8

After I killed my quads, I did intervals with the slideboard, boxing with the heavy bag, the agility ladder, plyo boxes, and medicine ball. My heartrate was between 158-170 for over 30 minutes of my 50 minute cardio workout and never got below 139! I did some tough, tough ab work on the slideboard to finish up and collapsed in a heap.

I also started the hundred pushup training program. I used to be a pushup fiend but have really gotten lax, so this will get me back on the pushup track.

Tomorrow is my second one-on-one kickboxing lesson, plus Chest and Triceps.

Choosing How to Be; or, There's No Use Crying Over Spilt Iced Tea

2008-08-15T08:57:00.003-04:00

The power of choosing one's own perspective is huge. I grew up in a family where spills, dropping things, making loud noises, having accidents was verboten. Consequently, my tendency when I execute any of those inevitable foibles listed previously is to turn red, tense up, yell "MotherF!" and spend 10 minutes berating myself for being an idiot while hating every second of fixing the mess.

Earlier in the week, I was preparing for my first CTI Certification call. Certification is a 6-month, rigorous, weekly program, and I had printed out my hundred-plus-page manual, done my first homework, set up my workspace. Oh, and had just poured a giant (beer-pint-glass-sized) glass of strong, dark, iced tea.

Long story short: one slip of the hand and iced tea was all over my computer, homework, manual, and was soaking into my rug. In a split second, and for the first time in my life, I CHOSE to treat myself with compassion rather than disgust. It must have been the fact that I was in the "coaching zone!" I calmly watched the deep, dark tea dripping off the table, into the rug, watched my new notebook with the cool flowery cover that I had excitedly chosen that weekend turn brown and wrinkly, watched all the work that I had done become ruined. I smiled and loved myself and calmly cleaned up the mess. Afterwards, I felt great. It was the same mess, the same indelible stains on the carpet, the same extra work on a day when I already felt overextended. But my heart rate stayed the same and my blood didn't boil. I didn't have a headache and I didn't feel sick to my stomach. I will choose this perspective, which I will call, "No big deal!" more frequently, consciously.

Have a fantastic weekend!

Happy picture at a happy wedding

2008-07-26T11:15:00.003-04:00

Perspectives

2008-06-05T10:44:00.005-04:00

You get to choose your perspective on life and its events. It is one of the few things over which we human beings have 100% complete control.

CTI teaches a whole course, Balance, on looking at life's events through different perspectives. Last week, I attended a beautiful wedding with a sermon that touched me deeply. One part of the moving homily stated, "Time flies, whether you’re having fun or just having life." Which will YOU choose?

This morning, I was chopping onions for a pot of black bean soup. Almost immediately, my eyes filled and stung so unbearably I couldn't keep them open. And rather than sigh or get annoyed, I CELEBRATED! For a good twenty years before this one, I never understood what that felt like-I had always worn contact lenses to correct my severe myopia. The first time I was chopping an onion and the tears came after I had laser surgery last year, I kept right on crying tears of joy!

Today, I am so grateful that my eyes sting and water when I chop onions, that they are open and vulnerable and they work! I can nap when I am tired, shower when I feel like it, swim and open my eyes, camp without worry, spontaneously sleep over at a girlfriend's house.

You can choose to be annoyed, or you can choose to be overjoyed. Today, which will you choose?

Whew!

2008-05-04T21:43:00.008-04:00

I have barely had a moment to breathe in the last couple of weeks, and the next two are even crazier.

Today I realized that I MUST breathe, consciously, deeply and frequently, or I get crabby, short-tempered, and highly unpleasant to be around. My coach and I recently discussed the power of time set aside to focus solely on sensation; to release the chatter and bustle of thought and just BE.

I closed myself up in my office and began the deep, rhythmic, and noisy yogic Ujjayi aka "Darth Vader" breath. Within minutes I was calmer, more at peace, and my shoulders moved down from my ears, where they had been painfully stuck for a few days. "Sat Nam," I repeated silently, over and over, with the breath.

After 10 minutes, I felt totally refreshed and at ease. I realized that breathing and meditation are no longer simply positive options for me; they are a necessary part of my day. More potent a stimulant than coffee, more relaxing than a nap, more refreshing than a shower, more powerful than stress.

Sat nam.

My best birthday ever-April 20, 2008

2008-04-24T19:27:00.015-04:00

Ever since I turned 26 ten years ago, each successive birthday has been my "best" birthday ever! What a relief it is to be a happy adult-I made my childhood and adolescence and early adulthood so much more challenging than they needed to be on many levels. It has taken me many years and a lot of seeking to find the peace and ease I feel these days with myself and with my life. Virginia Woof said, "One of the signs of passing youth is the birth of a sense of fellowship with other human beings as we take our place among them." I think that is a huge part of my hard-won happiness; I feel community and connectedness with other human beings, both on a personal and more global level. I know now that my purpose here on Earth is to in some small (and maybe even big!) way help others who are seeking and who long for a joyful, thrilling, fulfilling life.

Matthew and I spent the day outside. It was a sunny, breezy day in Boston and we walked for many miles. We had brunch outside for the first time this year, went to Beacon Hill and the Public Garden,
and then met up with our great pals and downstairs neighbors, Penny and Jota.

We ate too much, drank some sangria, and shared a lot of laughter. My best birthday ever; until next year, that is!

Boston Marathon 2008

2008-04-22T08:56:00.004-04:00

Perfect weather? Check!

Lance Armstrong running past me, much hotter than I imagined and so close I could have touched him? Check!

Cheering on my girl ANGELEE, who still looked fresh as a daisy at mile 24? Check!

Thousands of inspiring, determined, courageous runners? Check check check!

Shannon trying to get a charity number to run in 2009? Check?

StickK.com goal update

2008-04-16T16:37:00.006-04:00

Three weeks in, three pounds gone! Leveraging works! My pants are already loose.

Coaching also works. I have been coaching myself using Balance techniques I learned this past weekend, and the results are incredible. I also started getting coached myself this week-very exciting. We talked about my business and now the ideas are just flowing.

Here's a delicious recipe I made today. I got this from my dear friend Jen, who got it from one of her friends! Healthy recipe spreading like wildfire across the internets:

Curried Lentils in Tomato Sauce

3 TBS canola oil
1 medium onion, finely chopped
1 piece fresh ginger (2" long), peeled and finely grated
Coarse salt
2 tsp curry powder
1 tsp garam masala (optional)*use it!*
1/4 to 1/2 tsp cayenne pepper
26 oz best-quality store-bought tomato sauce *Muir Glen, but of course!*
2 cans (20 oz each) cooked lentils, rinsed and drained *I used two cups of French Lentils (dry) cooked for 25 minutes in 4 cups homemade stock*
2 TBS fresh lime juice (from 1 lime)
1/2 c chopped fresh cilantro, plus more for garnish (optional)
Cooked brown basmati (or other long-grain brown) rice, for serving

In a large saucepan, heat oil over medium. Add onion and ginger; season with salt. Cook, stirring frequently, until beginning to brown, 5 to 8 minutes.

Add spices; cook, stirring, until fragrant, 30 to 60 seconds.

Add tomato sauce, lentils, and 1 cup water. Simmer until slightly thickened, 5 to 10 minutes. Stir in lime juice and cilantro; season with salt.

Serve lentil mixture with rice; garnish with more cilantro, if desired.

Serves 6

-- adapted from Everyday Food magazine, a Martha Stewart publication

Enjoy!

Elliott Yamin, or How My Grinchy Heart Grew Three Sizes in Season Five

2008-04-14T08:57:00.016-04:00

This is the story of how an American idol impacted my life. I know it sounds plebeian and shallow, but Elliott Yamin touched something in me, made me ponder things and feel intense feelings, accompanied me on lonely training runs and even sang me home in the last miles of my marathon. This is my tribute to him.

I first became aware of Elliott in the Top 24. I never liked the ridiculous beginning rounds of the show and was too busy at my still-new job to catch the Hollywood rounds that year. But then, someone started an American Idol pool at work and I got hooked in by the competition and the camaraderie.

Elliott sang "If You Really Love Me" by Stevie Wonder in the Top 24. As soon as I heard his voice I sat straight up on the couch on which I was lounging. Coming out of this elfin, shyly smiling man with close-shorn hair and slightly awkward moves was a voice that was resonant, mellifluous, a little raspy and a lot soulful. "Wow," I breathed. From that moment, I was an obsessive Yaminion.

So obsessed, that I started reading the American Idol message boards the next morning. While there were many comments on his voice, there were just as many calling him "hideous" "the amish dude" "Ohmygod his TEETH! They are disgusting!" As the weeks passed, we viewers found out that Elliott had probably heard those messages all his life. He had dropped out of high school and drifted for a few years, working at Foot Locker, as a clerk at a pharmacy counter, and "about 47 other" jobs. No one, including his family, knew for years that he had the incredible gift of perfect pitch and an instantly recognizable, one-in-a-million voice. He had never had a voice lesson, had never sung in a school play. As the weeks passed, more and more came out about him: he had Type 1 diabetes. He was 90% deaf in one ear. He loved his mama like nobody's business and their close bond was featured prominently on the show.

But most of all, week after week, his vulnerability and inner beauty, truth, and authenticity radiated forth. He wept openly as he sat at the piano with his idol, Stevie Wonder. As Stevie told him that he should "definitely choose singing as a career" his whole body shook with the weight of that accolade. Elliott always cheered for the other winners and hugged the losers each week before he celebrated his getting through to the next round. Week after week, he picked the smart, tough, complex song choices, and week after week, he grew in confidence while still retaining his tender, humble openness.

One of the greatest performances I have ever seen is Elliott's rendition of Donny Hathaway's A Song For You. I was rendered as blubbering and moved as the sometimes bordering-on-histrionic Paula Abdul. I was reminded of her words this past weekend at my CTI training-we were talking about the importance of taking the "I" statement out of compliments. There is something powerful about getting rid of "I think you are...." and simply stating, "You are...." When Paula says, "You ARE an American Idol" at the end of this amazing performance, Elliott IS.

Elliott went home in third place, and I felt an anguish that astonished and, frankly, embarrassed me. "It's a TV SHOW!" I told myself, "snap out of it, you idiot!" I wasn't really worried about Elliott; Elliott left with the same grace and honest emotion that had exemplified his entire run on the show.

No, I was grieving for the loss of having an hour each week where I allowed myself to be fully engaged, totally earnest and open and a raving FAN of someone. Any guarded, self-conscious, "I don't watch TV because I am so intellectual and I certainly don't listen to music that would be on American Idol" walls that I had erected to show the world how above it all I was were bulldozed down by the fact that I felt, well, LOVE and deep admiration for this person whom I had never met and only knew through the skillful and manipulative editing of a television show. I made a promise to myself to seek more of that feeling in my life, that aliveness, that earnestness.

Elliott went on to record an album and have a hit song with Wait For You. His album was a bit overproduced for my liking ("Less synth, more VOICE!" I moaned), though I did grow to love it, but one song in particular really stands out for me. It played on my iPod on my first ever 10-mile run, and I ended up listening to it over and over again that day, and adopted it as the theme for my marathon training. It was the song that I played when I first realized I was in the homestretch of my marathon, when my heart swelled with relief and the magnitude of my accomplishment. It is called Free, and this is a beautiful, stripped-down version of it:

I'll end with that, and with this (and yes, Elliott was as nice and gracious in person as he was in my imagination).

Thanks, Elliott.

BALANCE

2008-04-12T20:52:00.008-04:00

I am right smack in the middle of my third CTI coaching weekend, Balance. As always, it is an incredible, indescribable ride. I want to share some of the things I was coached on today and some of the promises and commitments I made to myself.

We had a resonant and powerful exercise where we brainstormed the things that we were ready to say "yes" to in our lives, as well as the things we are ready to say "no" to. We had a moving ceremony to "lock in" the work but I am going to keep the details to myself and just say that I loved it.

Three things that I am ready to say "no" to in my life:

1. I say "no" to getting attention through negativity.
2. I say "no" to thinking that or caring if people are laughing at me.
3. I say "no" to letting my life dwindle away while I "schlump" and hide.

Three things that I am ready for and COMMIT to saying "yes" to in my life:

1. I say "yes" to believing that I deserve and will have a successful, thriving coaching practice.
2. I say "yes" to me being proud of me and having that be enough.
3. I say "yes" to living my life to the fullest, filling it with happy laughter, and becoming my true Future Self.

I also worked on putting the pedal to the metal with some of my goals. I have some clear ones to achieve and some big, thrilling work to do!

1. The "back end," clients-only section of my website will be 100% complete and ready to use by June 15th. My whole website will be completed (front end and all) by September 1st.

2. I am going to enlist the help of a cheering section made up of my husband and other interested "onlookers." ;) They will, just as the spectators did for me at the marathon, joyously yell, "Venga Shannon! Andale!!!" when they see that I need a boost with the work I'm doing. If anyone reading would like to help me with this, drop me an email!

3. I am going to seek more community and a broader circle of like-minded friends in my beloved neighborhood. I want a big strong group of South End peeps! I will host a book club or similar group for interested neighbors by May 17th.

I am pumped and my goals are meaningful and resonant for me. Yeah!

Consistent, challenging exercise + proper nutrition 95% of the time (day in, day out) = Results

2008-04-09T09:29:00.006-04:00

Consistent, challenging exercise + proper nutrition 95% of the time (day in, day out) = Results

If only there were a way to shortcut this equation; but when it comes to fat loss, hypertrophy, increased endurance, or any other physical fitness goal, there really is no easy way to get there and stay there. Entire industries are built on the idea that one can attain his or her goals with a particular machine, or workout, or combination of exercises, or protein shake, or pill.

Results come from work; the getting there is hard; the staying there is harder. We live in a society which does not champion slow, steady, consistent effort and quiet determination.

Here's to those who put in the work and reap the rewards!

2008-03-27T11:46:00.003-04:00

I just got back from a 5-mile run around the Charles. I was so excited when I saw that the temperature was in the upper 40s that I forgot to check the wind. Ruh-ro! I was wearing shorts and the wind was just whipping. When I walked inside, I caught a glimpse of my legs in the mirror. They were so pink my thighs looked like two Christmas hams! I couldn't help but laugh.

My run today helped me make a decision about the half--I'm not ready. I enjoyed my "fun run" today and I am not in the space to start training again yet. I would rather focus whole hog (or ham, as it were!) on leaning down a bit and meeting my stickK.com goal while making major strides with Rhapsody Coaching.

Some of you have asked me to post more menus--here is what I am having today and is pretty typical of a day when I am trying to lose some fluff:

Steel cut oats and an Omega-3 fortified egg
Roast chicken (4-5 oz or so) and red and orange peppers and 2 clementines
Greek yogurt (2%) with 20 frozen cherries
Turkey chili (with tomatoes, carrots, onions, kidney beans, etc) and cucumbers with a little olive oil and vinegar
Fat free ricotta cheese with a baked apple, splenda and cinnamon

Lots of water, coffee, tea.

StickK.com

2008-03-25T17:35:00.003-04:00

What a cool site!! StickK.com 's premise is reverse-risk leveraging, which I have experienced before when I was doing Leanness Lifestyle. Basically, in reverse-risk leveraging, you commit money, and if you fail to meet your goals, the money is sent to someone. If you meet your goals, the money is sent back to you or the check is torn up. One particularly effective way of utilizing this is committing money to a charity or political organization whose mission you do NOT support. I utilized this very successfully during my LL days--I had to put up three $300 dollar checks, which Coach Dave would send to my hated charity if I did not meet my goals during the stated time. You better believe I made my goals. I won't say which charity, but those of you who know me and my political views probably have a pretty good idea, anyway!

So anyway, as I said back in January, I am about 10 pounds heavier than my super-happy weight. I have leveraged 5 dollars a week for the next 12 weeks, with a goal of losing those 10 pounds. This is a REALLY aggressive goal for me because I am a serious "weight fighter," particularly when I get down to those last 10. Howevever, I am ready to commit to cutting out beer, brie, and bread and getting leaner.

I will post my results as they happen! And now that I have made this public and leveraged myself, they will happen.

I am still trying to figure out if I want to sign up for the half-marathon in May. I have some time, so I'm still fence-sitting a bit. I've kind of been enjoying cutting the running down to two days a week or so and doing some stuff I've been neglecting, like Yoga and spinning, which I am planning to do tomorrow. We shall see.

Waffling (mmmm, waffles)

2008-03-22T14:49:00.004-04:00

Ok, I am waffling. There is a half-marathon in just under 12 weeks in Boston. Part of me really wants to do it, but part of me wants to hit the weights HARD in the next few weeks and cut back on my cardio somewhat. I miss being really consistent with my lifting and throwing open doors like they are weightless because I don't know my own strength.

A half (and the "halved" training schedule) just feels so doable, and having that goal will keep me outside and running into Spring.

I guess I will weigh the pros and cons and make a decision soon.

Barcelona, Part 3: Marato Barcelona, Miles 20-26.2

2008-03-19T11:24:00.010-04:00

"Matty!" I almost cried when I saw him and realized he had drugs and a hug for me. Woozily, I asked, "where am I? Like mile 18 or so?" I was actually past the twenty-mile mark, but Mr. Smarty nodded and said, "yeah, like 18 or so!" When I figured out a few km down the road that I actually only had about 5 miles left, it was like getting an unexpected, very shiny and expensive present!

After I popped the Ibuprofin, and Matthew had massaged my calves and thighs for a minute, he attempted to jog along beside me for a little while. Unfortunately, the bouncing of his messenger bag stuffed with pounds of camera, supplies, and jacket proved to be a potential injury hazard (not to mention highly annoying to both of us) so I bid him "adieu," sucked down some more Gu, and kept going.

As the Ibuprofin kicked in, I started feeling euphoric. It was incredible the difference-I felt as if I had slept and eaten and was starting over again. I cranked up the tunes on the iPod and started enjoying myself. The crowds kept getting thicker, as we ran under the Arc de Triomph and through the park, up La Rambla and through the Old City, and I hammed it up, smiling, waving, and pumping my fist. I felt a connection with everyone who looked into my eyes and smiled at me, and called my name or shouted, "Venga!" I remembered the first time I watched the Boston Marathon, hanging out with some pals on Beacon street in 1999, chain-smoking, my first year in the city. I had lost my voice cheering, I was so inspired and impressed and amazed at the runner's dedication and courage. I watched the runners pass me, thinking, "They are incredible. I could NEVER do that." Nine years had passed since then, and I took a moment to reflect on how much my life had changed, expanded, became more joyful and full since that time. I gave tearful thanks for my many blessings.

The last couple of miles were a blur of smiling faces, cheering people, two men helping their hobbled teammate cross the finish line, Queen on my iPod, seeing the sign for the Placa Espanya and not believing that the end was near. I sprinted for the finish and crossed at 5:15 (actual time 5:09). I couldn't have been happier if I had crossed at 2:15.

Matthew missed me at the finish by about 10 minutes, missed me getting my medal and hobbling to a stop, sinking down onto the ground like an arthritic but emotionally orgasmic 80-year-old. Although he was sad that he had missed that moment, I was totally at peace with how everything turned out. It almost made sense to me, metaphorically speaking, that I finished with no one watching. While I could never have completed this task without him and all of the other people who supported me through my training, the majority of this journey was undertaken by me, alone.

After resting and basking and moaning with joy for awhile about how wonderful it felt to NOT BE RUNNING, we shuffled back to the Hotel B, where I marveled at the crusty layer of salt on my cheeks and visor brim, turned on the hottest shower imaginable (with blinds closed this time), and relaxed. Ahhhhhhhh. Mission Accomplished.

I have already started musing about Boston 2009...

PS. The first thing I did after leaving the hotel?

PPS. Me and my medal! My first EVER for any sort of athletic achievement. I guess once I got a "most improved player" pity award in grade school....

Barcelona, Part 2: Marato Barcelona, miles 1-20

2008-03-17T15:32:00.011-04:00

So, on Friday, we went to the Expo to pick up my number, chip, and goody bag. It was muggy and hazy, which made me a little nervous about the race, as I was used to training in below-freezing conditions, after all!

Here's me outside the Expo:

Saturday I got SO nervous. I didn't even want to get out of bed; it was this awful feeling of dread, like what have I DONE? I bucked up a bit when I realized that I was on a carb-loading mission, in Barcelona no less, and emails from my family and friends fortified and buoyed me. Matthew was great, as always, although in the end, I think the whole ordeal made him more nervous than it did me!

The morning of the marathon dawned, crisp, clear, and much less humid. I started getting ready while Matthew executed the first of several impossible feats he would do that day, finding coffee at 6:45am on a Sunday in Spain. Bless that man.

We arrived at the starting area nice and early and I immediately had to pee, despite the fact that I had just gone in the hotel about 12 times. I waited in the long, smelly lines at the Port-o-potties. "Sheesh, there aren't many," I grumbled, having NO IDEA the dearth of bathrooms which lay ahead. The powers-that-be at Marato Barcelona seem to feel that ONE potty every 5km is sufficient for 9,000+ people. Of course, it was only 15% women. More on this later.

Anyway, after much nervous pacing and bouncing, I finally gave MG one final hug and kiss before joining the throng of "over 4 hours" runners at the back of the pack. He promised he would see me at least a couple of times over the course of the race.

The tension was thick in the air; when 8:30 arrived, the Montjuïc fountains came on and Freddie Mercury's "Barcelona" played and the crowd went wild. I shed the first of many tears and crossed the starting line about 7 minutes in.

I felt absolutely great in those first couple of miles. My taper had been long and I was ready to run. I felt in great condition and just took it easy and tried to drink it all in. Well, not all of it. In the first couple of miles, a shocking number of participants (men) had to stop and pee on the side of the road. Hilariously, this included the 4h 30m "pacer" ahead of me, who raced over to relieve himself, balloon bobbing wildly. We runners all pointed, caught one another's eyes, cracked up, and hooted.

I saw Matthew for the first time about 5 miles in, and did little more than wave and smile. The second time I saw him, at about 12 miles in, I gave him a Mission Impossible. I had forgotten to bring Ibuprofin with me; everyone had told me that it would help to have it, and sure enough, my knees, shins, and calves were already complaining mildly.

Poor Matty. While I ran on, seeing cool sights and meditating on my loved ones one by one to while away the miles, he ran all over Barcelona trying to find an open Farmacia, since it was Sunday. While I was getting cheered on by the crowd (my favorite was an American woman on a bike who said, "Shannon, YOU GO GIRL!"), Matty G was frantically trying to find me some Advil and then find me.

While the drinks, food, and sponges were plentiful, as I said earlier, there was a serious dearth of bathrooms. I lost a good 10 minutes off my time standing in line at The Port-o-Potty at one stop, and then started panicking because my legs were getting so "cold." I ran some more and finally ducked into a cafe.

While there were some enthusiastic crowds along the way, there was quite a bit of indifference from spectators and occasionally, what appeared to be disdain. Coming from Boston, where Marathon Monday is a city holiday, it was sometimes a little disappointing. I felt it deeply as I felt myself hitting the proverbial wall. Running along the beach for several miles, with the sun heating up and "Summer Lovin'" from Grease bizarrely and tinnily blaring over a loudspeaker, I painfully slowed down, feeling exhausted and disoriented. The few people who were not running who I saw during this time crossed the street right in front of me and stared silently at the runners, unsmiling and suspicious-seeming. I questioned for the first time during this period whether I would make it, and slowed to a walk for the only time during the race.

Suddenly, up ahead, I saw a flash of green, or should I say Greene? Matthew was jumping up and down, wiggly and happy as a puppy when he saw me, sweating in his green t-shirt after running all over Barcelona to find me some drugs. I have never been as happy to see someone or felt as much relief as I felt when I saw his smiling face and popped 800 mg of the best Ibuprofin I ever had....

Barcelona, Part 1

2008-03-16T17:16:00.005-04:00

Matthew and I arrived in Barcelona on the Thursday before Marato Barcelona 2008 at noon, jet-lagged and dehydrated after our all-night flight. Thankfully, we were allowed into our room (at the ultra-modern Hotel B) a few hours before the official check-in time, and we blissfully crashed for a couple of hours, despite the fact that we couldn’t figure out how to turn on the lights in the room.

When we awoke, we blearily attempted to crack the lighting code. We realized that there was a slot near the door for the keycard; without using it, the lights wouldn’t work. The bathroom was equally confounding; the shower was encased in glass, which faced out into the room, creating a full-on peep show for the other occupant. We snickered at the idea of co-workers discovering this upon check-in and panicking. It took us two showers each and two days passing before we figured out that there was a button which opened and closed the blinds. Despite our initial inability to understand the Jetsonian workings of our room, Hotel B proved to be the perfect spot for us. It was located less than a five-minute walk from the start and finish of the marathon, it had a roof-deck and pool, and a comfy bed in a large-for-Europe room; this more than made up for its slightly out-of-the-center-of-the-action location.

Barcelona was fantastic: Amazing food, friendly people, and reasonable prices, despite the fact that each successive day while we were there, the BBC talking heads informed us that the dollar hit a new low against the Euro. Matthew’s Spanish enabled us to obtain anything we needed (don’t let him tell you that he doesn’t know the language very well). The architecture was beautiful, the café culture top-notch, the sight-seeing stupendous.

Of course, as a wannabe Parisian, I couldn’t help but compare the two. While I hold firm in my conviction that Paris is urban heaven on Earth, Barcelona gave it a run for its money on several levels. Here were some of the observations I made:

1. Coffee—sorry, France, but Spain kicks your ass when it comes to espresso. Smooth, fast, perfect silky crema? Check, check, check. Barcelona: 1, Paris: 0

2. Beauty (surroundings)—Barcelona, you have Goudi, some cool architecture, and a beautiful Mediterranean beach. However, Paris is overwhelming in its exquisite visual perfection. It is as if Parisians exist solely to create beauty and delight wherever one looks. Barcelona: 1, Paris: 1

3. Beauty (people)—People in Barcelona are like people in Boston or New York—a little slimmer than the general population of the US, a little more cutting-edge stylish, but reassuringly human-looking and normal. Paris? I lost count of the times I said, “That is the most beautiful person I have ever seen.” I have never seen so many tall, thin, stylish, gorgeous people before in my entire life as I saw in Paris in an hour. Special props to older Parisian women, who are still stylish, strutting their stuff, and, unlike in the US, seen as desirable by men and women of all ages. In Barcelona? Not so much. I had a hard time deciding which I preferred, the normalcy of Barcelona or the model-explosion of Paris, but in the end, I gotta give it to Paris: 2, Barcelona: 1

4. Bathrooms—Barcelona, te amo! Bathrooms were clean and modern almost across the board, and there were always at least two “onesies.” Paris had an alarming number of seatless toilets, gas-station-on-Route-66-styling and cleanliness levels, and much to my chagrin, SQUAT TOILETS in a few places. Quel horror! Barcelona 2, Paris 2.

5. Libations—Tie, 3-3. Barcelona had Sangria, but their beer is like Bud on ice, even the fancy-shmancy label kind. Paris had plenty of bier blanche-nummy nummy. Both places had incredible wine. I’ll keep drinking and get back to you.

6. Smoking—Paris wins. While it was still choking in smoke when we were there last year, it is now SMOKE-FREE in restaurants. Barcelona is still nicotine-stained and lung-blackening indoors. Paris 4, Barcelona 3.

7. Transportation—Barcelona’s pros: Great subway/bus system, bicycle-sharing program. Cons: Motos, sidewalk-using bikers, big gross cars and lots of them. Paris pros: Great public transit, lots of bicycles, mainly tiny cars. Cons: Motos. Paris wins by a hair, 5-3.

8. Food—I say Paris, Matthew says Barcelona. Barcelona has the slight vegetarian-friendly edge, although the possibility of jamon Serrano being sprinkled on top of Matthew’s “vegetarian” dishes for flavor was always there. Both had food sublime enough to bring a tear to my eye and drool to my lips at each and every meal and snack.

What can I say, I loved them both to distraction. If I were a polygamist, I would marry them both. I certainly hope to return to both places, multiple times.

Oh yeah, so then there was this marathon….

2008-02-27T13:09:00.009-05:00

I just completed my last three mile training run. I ended my training listening to the song with which I commenced it, Everlong by Foo Fighters. I chose it when I started for its driving beat, and because despite its tempo, it evoked in me a little apprehension, a little longing, a bit of discomfort that I felt was fitting for the beginning of this long process.

Listening to it in the last 5 minutes of my last training run, one line really jumped out at me: "The only thing I'll ever ask of you/You've got to promise not to stop when I say 'when.'" I will sing this line to myself around mile twenty on Sunday!

It was humbling to think back to my first red-faced, panting, painful three-mile effort and compare it to today's easy jaunt. I am in awe of my body and its remarkable adaptability.

On to Barcelona!

The Joy of the Taper

2008-02-19T17:46:00.008-05:00

Ahhhhhhhhhhh. I only have to run 19 miles this week (spread out over four days), and THREE next week. Well, actually, 29.2 next week, if you count the marathon. Yikes!

I have another weekend of CTI training coming up, which I am really excited about. I came up with my tagline for Rhapsody Coaching: "Heart, Body, Mind: Aligned" It speaks to me; it feels meaningful and true to what I hope to provide for my clients, without being too "woowoo/crystals/faint smell of patchouli." No offense to woowoo, crystal-lovin' folks; but that is just not me.

I am more nervous now about the marathon than I have been in a long time. I am trying to do lots of yoga and deep, relaxed breathing. I am picturing myself crossing the finish line with a huge smile on my face and am busy crowding out thoughts of bloody nipples, dehydrated staggering, or an Utta Pippig-circa-1996-like sharting finish.

I am going to focus on slow, steady, smiling running. I just want to glide gently along and enjoy the rhythm and the flow. The last third of the race is nothing but heart, body, mind: aligned. I will let you know if that line still resonates after 26.2 hilly miles.

So Good

2008-02-04T08:41:00.000-05:00

So, I'm running down Mass Ave towards Arlington on Saturday, about 6 miles in to my first 18 mile run. I'm listening to an iTrain, which I highly recommend, along with Cardio Coach, my absolute favorite. Anyway, I'm running along, and Grace Lazenby says, "You're feeling SO GOOD" just as I pass a diner with a laminated newspaper article in the window from the day after the Red Sox won the World Series. "SO GOOD! SO GOOD!" shouted the headline. I took it as a sign and told myself that things were SO GOOD.

They were, actually. I didn't have to walk at all. Despite occasional 40-mile-an-hour wind gusts, the weather was lovely. A couple of people gave me thumbs up or murmured encouragement near the end of my three-hour-plus journey; I guess my fuel belt or my hunched, "I've run 17 miles and my body is giving out" posture clued them in to my quest.

One more long run and I start my taper. The Marathon is 4 weeks away, and I am ready, I am eager. I start my CTI training this weekend, and take my PT test in March. So many changes, so much unknown, but so far, so good.

2008-01-27T08:21:00.001-05:00

I had a funny experience after my 16-mile run yesterday. This was my third 16, and I felt really good. I got to the halfway "turnaround" point in what felt like a fraction of the time it took to get there the week before. My legs felt strong and pain-free up until the last 3 miles. My form was impeccable, my "mantra" was stolen from a book I've been reading. "Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway," I chanted in my head, dodging Harvard students and bums, icy patches and wonky bricks in the sidewalk.

When I finally dragged myself up the steep two flights of my brownstone, I couldn't wait to look at the clock. I was convinced I had shaved 10 minutes off my time, the run felt so much better, comparatively speaking, than the last one.

My time was exactly the same. To the minute! I calculated and re-calculated in my head. Exactly the same! I allowed myself to feel disappointed for a few minutes, but then remembered a critical section from The Non-Runners Marathon Trainer , which has been an invaluable resource for this particular non-runner:

"So fix the goal as FINISHING. Tell yourself and all those other people who are important to you that your goal is to finish. That way, you will feel terrific when you do finish and you will be anxious to see all those other people so that you can say when they ask, "How did it go?," (and they WILL ask), "It went great! I did it!"

Yesterday, I DID IT! I felt good. I took the same journey, to the minute, but it felt totally different. The power of the mind was part of it. The inevitable outcome of tough, consistent, progressively more difficult training, IMPROVEMENT, was also part of it. Today, I am stronger than I was yesterday, more capable, a better runner. Faster, schmaster!

2008-01-13T09:22:00.001-05:00

Well, yesterday I ran 16 miles, the last 8 miles out and back of the Boston Marathon route. My quads and hip flexors are screaming today. The hills are absolutely brutal--particularly (who knew?) the final couple of miles DOWNHILL after the rolling hills (including Heartbreak Hill) of Newton. Every step those last few miles downhill felt like someone was clubbing me in the thigh! I think I hallucinated a little at one point. The weather was perfect, though, and I actually enjoyed myself a good 75% of the time. I got my first bad blister; now I just need to lose a toenail and I will officially be in the Badass Runner's Club.

Note to self: lather up in Vaseline before next long run.

Time: Just under 3 hours, including several stops (to buy water, to tend to my boo-boo, to gasp for air and inhale Skittles). This makes me feel hopeful that I will finish the marathon at 5 hours or under. Not exactly setting speed records, mind you, but hey, at least I'll beat Katie Holmes!

Shannon the Builder

2008-01-07T19:15:00.001-05:00

I've spent the last two days putting together my desk, hutch, and chair for my soon-to-be-home office. It is incredible how many screws and nuts and hinges it takes to transform a pile o' pressed wood into something useful. I broke three nails and have a smudge of grease on my nose and packing-peanut particles in my hair. While I would not want to do this every day, I will admit to having really enjoyed doing something with my hands besides type!

Pictures are coming soon...my camera is currently in desperate need of a new battery.

I had a great 4 mile run today. It almost made up for my terrible 14-miler on Saturday. I felt like complete crap for about 7 miles of that run, although I did gut it out. I don't think I ate enough on Friday; I felt really depleted. I think it may be time to introduce Gu to my repertoire. Blech!

My New Toy

2008-01-04T09:14:00.002-05:00

I finally broke down and got a Kettlebell--just a fifteen-pounder to start out. Two minutes into the warm-up, I was pouring sweat and gasping for air like I had just scaled Mount Everest.

Look at how cute and innocuous it seems! It looks like a darling shiny black pearl on a ring! Like a Mickey Mouse ear! Mine is even a sassy red number. By 10 minutes in, I had nicknamed it "Satan."

Kettlebell, you humbled me today. It is clear that I will be spending a lot of time with you in the next few months! I feel my core tightening as I speak.

Tomorrow is a 14-mile training run, my longest ever. I am excited and a little nervous. The weather is supposed to be lovely and I am grateful for that!

Snotcicles and Gratitude

2008-01-02T16:26:00.000-05:00

Whew! I just got back from a 6 mile run. The wind was gusting at 26 mph and the temperature with the windchill was -1. As I ran along the Charles, I kept getting stuffed up with snotcicles (frozen nose)and my eyes were watering like crazy. My right hip flexor felt like a clenched fist.

I reached the BU Bridge and turned around to head home--and oh, the bliss of having the wind at my back and the sun on my face. I was awash in exercise endorphins and had a moment of true gratitude--for my legs, carrying me, for Boston, in its splendid, gorgeous winter glory. I thought about my husband, how supportive he is, how he is helping me realize my career dreams and live life to the fullest. I realized that my eyes, finally recovered from LASEK, were seeing so clearly, finally---I have yearned all my life for perfect vision and now I have it. My eyes watered a lot more after reflecting upon all my blessings. I am so very lucky, and so grateful for everything I have been given in this life.

Facing up to the fats

2008-01-02T08:43:00.001-05:00

I got on the scale--it weighed me to within a few ounces of what I was expecting/dreading. At least I can say that I have good body awareness! The cold hard fat fact, though, is that I am 10 pounds above my happy weight and about 15 above my utterly ecstatic, unicorns and rainbows and puppy breath weight.

Truth be told, I have struggled in certain ways with maintenance since I first reached my goal through the Leanness Lifestyle a few years ago. Yes, that's me on the Success Stories page! If you sign up for the free 30-day trial, you can see my before and after pictures and hear me babbling on in an interview with Coach Dave. My maintenance struggle is not because of any problems with the program, which got me lean, mean, and thrilled with my body for the first time in my life. I also credit Coach Dave with getting me into heavy lifting (prior to the two Bootcamps I did with him I had never used a squat rack--boy, have things changed!), helping me get over a whole host of fears and blocks (both mental and practical) about body transformation, and, most importantly, being my first experience with the powerful tool of COACHING.

No, my problem was that I thumbed my nose at maintenance. I think in some ways I craved the excitement of going up a few pounds and then going back into Action to take them off. Always the rebellious type, I have been pushing the limits of beer and bread and Brie and trying to see how much I could get away with without permanent damage. I worked long, long hours and did not make diet and exercise a priority. Most importantly, I stopped logging and weighing daily. Some people can wing it, and I did for a couple of years while staying under 130 pounds, but I have realized that unless I write it, I don't count it. Unless I plan my meals for the week and cook them, I will go with an easy carby fatty option. Unless I write down my workout plan, I will do whatever I feel like doing, which is usually less challenging than my body deserves.

Lifetime maintenance starts now. I am focused on eating healthy to fuel my intense workouts. Weight loss and then maintenance is the inevitable consequence of eating clean, logging what I eat, and working out hard, day in and day out. I am not overweight. However, right now I am not extraordinary. I desire and deserve extraordinary and am willing to do what it takes to get and stay there.

Workout today: 6 mile run, yoga

Food today:
Meal 1: Oatmeal/1 egg/2 whites
Meal 2: Turkey chili/brown rice/veggies (zucchini, onion, garlic, tomatoes)
Meal 3: Cottage Cheese/apple
Meal 4: Chicken Breast and salad (cukes and red peppers)
Meal 5: Yogurt/protein/cherries

2008 will be my year!

2008-01-01T19:31:00.002-05:00

I am so excited to kick off 2008. After a lot of soul-searching, number-crunching, and research, I quit my job last month and am embarking on a slightly different career path: I am becoming a Life Coach.

I say "slightly different" because as a Social Worker and Manager, I did a lot of coaching. In my personal life, I have coached people and helped them achieve their weight loss and fitness goals. However, I am getting certified this year through CTI and am also becoming a Personal Trainer through ACE. My longtime dream of helping people achieve their positive personal goals is becoming a reality starting today!

I have an extensive list of goals for this year. They are:

1. Coach certification through CTI.
2. Personal Training Certification through ACE.
3. Getting a job as a PT, while simultaneously getting certified as a coach, building my website, marketing, etc.
4. Continuing to train for, and then running, the marathon in Barcelona on March 2nd.
5. Getting back into peak physical condition. Is my cardio endurance better than it has ever been? Absolutely. But I have been taking "carb-loading" entirely too far for the past few months and it is time to get back into striated-abs shape, with the ability to deadlift my bodyweight and bang out big-girl pushups with ease. I have definitely lost strength and flexibility in my quest for cardio endurance, and I feel and look better when those three fitness components are balanced.